Just When All Seems Lost
When I first realized there was something seriously wrong with my daughter the first place I went was to the doctor. I can remember them telling me that she was obese. They told me that she needed to loose weight. You know what their advice sounded like? It sound like: "Just stop eating. Just move more. Just don't keep junk in the house."Just, Just, Just! You know what? You, with all your 'justs', you don't know anything.
If it was so simple, don't you think my daughter would be better by now? Do you really think I want this life for her - or that she wants it for herself? Do you think I haven't tried to give her less food? Do you think I haven't tried to get her moving more? DO YOU REALLY THINK ALL I HAVE IS JUNK FOOD!!!??? Jeez...these doctors. Seriously. They haven't a clue and they don't want one either.
All these ignorant people trying to tell my kid that the binge is her fault - That's what they are doing when they tell her to Just ______(insert whatever verbs you want here). They are saying "It's your fault that you are overweight. You should have more willpower over your food." Clearly they didn't see the warning signs or listen to me or even bother to delve more deeply into the root.
I had to argue with doctors. I had to threaten lawsuits to my insurance company. I had to beg and plead with them to understand that I know something was terribly wrong. I KNEW. I am her mother. Parents know these things. (Trust your gut, always.)
Eating disorders are so powerful and crippling. And, honestly, I don't understand them. So, I have created this blog to share our experiences with the world.
My daughter is 14 years old. Charming, polite, caring and (so very) forgiving. She is also obsessed with food. Some kids count calories. Others purge. And others exercise uncontrollably. The one that the media forgets to warn parents about, even doctors don't warn about this one...Is Binge Eating Disorder (BED). The reason is because there is little known about the disorder still. And, for some reason, there just isn't the funding to do the research. Why is funding the research on BED. I'm not saying that Anorexia, Bulimia, and other eating disorders don't need more research. What I am saying is we understand a whole heck of a lot more about the other eating disorders than we do about BED and I think it's time the funding goes to discover more about this crippling disease.
Surprisingly, even though it is overlooked, Binge Eating is the most common eating disorder. But the world blames the person suffering. "Oh they just need to go on a diet." "That person just needs to lose weight." "They are just lazy." "They are fat and gross." This is what society says about anyone who is overweight...even the doctors! The problem is, fat shaming doesn't help. at all. It just makes it worse.
My beautiful daughter has succumbed to this awful malady called BED. There is nothing I can do to fix it. I can't take it away. I can't talk sense into her. The only thing I can do is fight for treatment (which I did).
Two days ago I admitted her into this intensive therapy program. It's not only intense for the kids, but for me, too. I've been crying and feeling pretty overwhelmed. I want to share our story because I know there are other families struggling with this. They need help. You are not alone.
This blog: Read it. Cry with me. Travel with us. Heal with us. Laugh with us. Join us. I hope my pain can be your source of healing.
BED is real. If you need help reach out to your doctor.
Here are some useful links:
http://tinyurl.com/n86owpo
http://tinyurl.com/l7cmc22
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